Uh-oh
by Dominic walker
Summary: All credit goes to the owner


Harry was forced to go back his Uncle Dursley's house and Ron, who had not had a particularly good term, was to stay home and do extra studies with Mrs. Weasley.

Of course, Harry and Ron were the sorts to try and find trouble, not find it as such, as if they were specifically looking for it, but rather it often found them and then made itself comfortable in their company for a while. Ron had managed to convince his mother that he had to meet his twin brothers in London one day, and promptly vanished, not telling her where he was really going- which was of course to pick up Harry.

Having sprung Harry in the middle of the night from his "prison" in the Dursley's house, the two immediately embarked on a hair-brained misadventure the events of which are too extensive and complicated for this minor treatise, suffice to say that trouble, ever present, found them again and this time really put it to them.

"What do we do now, Harry?" Asked a dirty, disheveled and frightened Ron.

"We can't do magic, or we'll be kicked out of school...but since magic got us here, I don't know how else we can get it fixed."

"How can we do magic?" persisted Ron, "I don't know the right spells, I don't know how to look for the right spells. My mum would kill me if she saw us just now. To say nothing of being kicked out of school."

"Yeah," mused Harry. "She'd kill us both, then send me home to the Dursley's to face who-knows-what..."

"If only Hermione were here," mused Ron, "she'd know what to do. Even if her spells mess up, she knows how to fix them."

Harry's face suddenly brightened, "That's it!" he exclaimed. "Hermione! She's in America with Ginny! She could help us, or at least tell us where to go for help!"

Ron's countenance did not brighten at all. "Harry," he said, "I thought of that, too. But there's more than one big problem; to start with, Hermione's in _America_ , and that's a bloody long way for a couple of boobs like us to travel in our current condition and without magic to boot. Is there any other solution?"

Harry thought for a moment. He could send Hedwig to find Sirrus, but Sirrus was probably still on the run still and not able to be contacted in any useful amount of time. Plus, maybe even he wouldn't know what to do. Then an idea occurred to Harry. "You know, the one piece of magic we could probably get away with using just now is floo powder. There may be a simple, low-magic spell we could use to help us find Hermione. She's really the only on who could help us and not snitch on us, too."

"Don't forget who's with Hermione," said Ron, "my sis Ginny'd snitch in a minute if she thought it would be funny."

"That we can deal with when we get back to normal. As soon as your mum goes out to look for us again, we can sneak in and use the floo powder. In our current state, even if she came back in, we wouldn't be noticed."

Ron then lapsed into silence. "The floo powder we can use. We've all used it before in the summer with no problem- I suppose its not considered underage magic." He mused, "and we should be able to just tell it to take us to the fireplace nearest Hermione."

"Let's hope so," said Harry. "This business is not as much fun as I thought it would be."

"Right," said Ron. "Well, let's and to it, then. I think I just heard Mum go out the back door."

"Good, you lead," said Harry.

Ron poked his head out and, seeing nothing, motioned Harry to follow. The two boys left the coffee can in which they had been hiding from a pesky robin. Ron and Harry were both 3 " tall.

The fireplace to which the floo powder took them was obviously meant only for decoration, as there could certainly be no need for a fire in this awful heat. In fact, it was full of plants. The fireplace was in a beach condo, somewhere in Florida. The veranda door was standing open, and the sounds of surf, gulls and playing people's voices could be heard from somewhere outside.

There was playful giggling from somewhere else in the apartment, out of view of the fire place, which was set in the corner of what appeared to be the combination living room-dining room. They could hear girls' voices but could not understand the words. Slowly and carefully they made their way out of the fireplace, discussing how they were going to get the girls' attention.

A large bowl of fresh gapes, bananas, apples and oranges sat on a serving counter between the kitchen proper and the dining room. That would be a good place to start and a place to hide until they knew that Mr. and Mrs. Granger were not in the condo.

It took several minutes and some arduous climbing, but Ron and Harry managed to get themselves into the bowl The grapes provided the best cover and the best view out. And just in time, too, as the voices from down the hall got a little louder and the sounds of random footfalls was more distinct.

Just then, a girl appeared from around the corner. She was wearing a baseball cap, her brown, bushy, curly hair pulled into a ponytail which exploded from the back of the cap. Sunglasses perched on the bill of the cap and she was carrying a large, empty tote bag. It was Hermione, alright, but she was presented before them in a way for which they were totally unprepared.

Hermione was wearing a bikini. And a small one at that. Ron and Harry both gasped. They were Hermione's best friends, they had both thought her cute and attractive in a best-friends sort of way. They had never seen her in anything less than the billowing robes they all wore at Hogwarts. Maybe she had worn jeans and a sweatshirt, or a sweater and a skirt and tights; but never had they ever seen this _much_ of Hermione, nor had they ever imagined that she had a body like _that_ hidden under all those clothes.

The only thing more shocking than Hermione in a bikini was that, following almost on her heals, was Ginny, red hair also pony tailed, sunglasses perched on head, also in a tiny bikini. Ron was shocked, "Mum would die if she ever saw Ginny in that!" he whispered. "She's too young!"

Harry could only blink. He would never look at Hermione in the same way again. Or Ginny. Perhaps especially Ginny. From now on, when he saw them, he would think; I know what you look like with hardly any clothes on. And he was not sure that was an entirely good thing, although no small part of himself and Ron thought it was a good thing now. Except Ron was getting angry at Ginny. Harry on the other hand...

Ginny was saying something to Hermione. "And you say we can walk around outside, in public, with only these tiny...pieces of strategically placed cloth wrapped round ourselves, nearly naked and all?"

"Sure," said Hermione, who was having to educate the younger girl on the ways of Muggle 'fun in the sun.' "It's actually called a "bikini," named after some small island in the Pacific. It's what girls our age wear in the Muggle world to go in swimming. If you wear any more you'll be too hot, and you can't get a tan. My, but his place is even hotter than Nice." Swimming is not a common wizard form of recreation, nor is it particularly popular even in the part of England where Ginny was from. And having grown up living entirely in the wizarding world, Ginny had lots of questions. Hermione, being muggle-born, had spent her first 11 years outside the realm of magic, and most of her summers since then as well.

"And," continued Hermione, "you have to have the sunscreen on or you'll be burned by the sun, especially you read-heads." Hermione continued into the kitchen, placing her bag on the counter near the bowl of fruit in which the boys were hiding. Ginny stopped at the kitchen door and leaned against the frame. Her fair skin looked shiny.

"This stuff is icky," she said, running her finger over the well-screened skin of her belly. "Look, I got a bit of it in my belly button..."

"You have to wear it," said Hermione in her know-it-all way, "we don't have the Hogwarts hospital wing, you know." She opened the refrigerator and rummaged for something inside; she extracted two cans of diet soft drink and put them into the tote bag.

Seeing Hermione and Ginny from this perspective was both exciting and terrifying for Harry and Ron. Hermione was HUGE! She towered above them. As she stood putting her drinks into her bag, she was so close to the fruit bowl that her bare stomach framed their entire field of vision. It was a huge, curvy, living, moving wall of shapely teenage-girl stomach. It was, quite frankly, sexy. Her bellybutton, about five inches above the counter top as she stood next to it, would have accommodated either boy's head and shoulders if they could turn them sideways.

Without warning, Hermione's hands shot forward and pulled two apples from the bowl, which were also stuffed into the bag. Then, she plied two grapes from the bunch in which Ron and Harry were hiding and popped them both into her mouth. The grapes were twice the diameter of Ron and Harry's heads at this scale, and watching them carried up to vanish into Hermione was rather unnerving. Either one of them would fit both into her mouth and down her throat without any trouble at all. Of course, the chances of Hermione mistaking either one of them for a grape were slim to nil...hopefully.

Hermione ate two more grapes and gave two to Ginny, who had motioned that she also wanted some. By then, Harry and Ron decided it was time to show themselves.

Ginny was absent mindedly munching on a grape, still leaning against the door frame, eyes wandering around. She fingered her bellybutton again, still getting used to the idea of this much of her body being so openly displayed. Fortunately, Ginny was quite pretty and quite easy to look at. "Do you think we'll meet some more boys?" she asked. "Those blokes last night were funny..."

"I hope not, these American boys are so bloody immature and they won't let me read and they go on and on about how cute they think our accents are..."

"Oh I think not, and I like _their_ accents, in fact-EEEEEEEE!" Ginny screamed and fully jumped two feet in the air. Hermione had been busily searching cabinets for a loaf of decent bread and she turned quickly around. Ginny's face had gone white as a ghost and she was pointing a shaky finger at the counter top, near the bowl of fruit. Her half-eaten grape had gone flying who knew where.

Hermione, a puzzled look on her face, followed Ginny's gaze and finger. Instead of screaming, Hermione gaped, then gasped, covering her mouth with her hands as her eyes fell on and suddenly recognized the two tiny figures on the table. She bent down and walked over, her eyes getting wider with each step. She stopped, her face about 12 inches from the boys, who at full height were no more than 3 " tall. The boys could feel her breath on their faces.

Her voice was barely a whisper. "Ron? Harry?"

"Hello Hermione," the boys said in unison, as if well rehearsed.

"I'm almost afraid to ask..."said Hermione, briefly glancing at Ginny who, face less pale now, had come to stand next to her, also peering down at the tiny boys.

Ron and Harry could hardly keep from gaping at the two gigantic girls. "Well," said Harry, finally, "we'll tell you..." And he did.

An hour later the two girls were sitting on the beach in rented beach chairs under a small umbrella. The sun was too hot to sit in directly, and the glare was too bright on their books. Neither girl was particularly interested in tanning, although Harry was glad they both wore tiny bikinis. Although he would never admit it, Ron was extremely glad to see Hermione so scantily clad, but he was more than embarrassed at his little sister also similarly attired.

Both girls proved to be extremely concerned and wanted to help. Hermione was quick to point out that a potion might not be considered practicing magic, if the ingredients could be obtained in a Muggle sort of way. And, added Hermione, even if it _was_ considered practicing magic, they were in the United States and well beyond the jurisdiction of the UK Ministry of Magic, to which she added an uncertain "hopefully".

The two girls sat on the beach flipping though Hermione's spell books, which she was always reading. So far, most of the resizing spells required that the shrunken wizard or witch have his or her wand shrunk with them and available, which neither Ron nor Harry had. Several had required ingredients which were simply not attainable. After an hour or so, Ginny, eyes still scanning a thick tome of spells and potions, began to raise her hand as if she were in class. Hermione, Harry and Ron watched her do this for a moment before Harry said, "did you find something?"

Ginny was a little embarrassed. "I think so," she said, "look here, Hermione."

She passed the book to Hermione, who scanned the list of ingredients. "This one only requires a minor incantation," she mused. "I can do it without a wand..." Her eyes continued to read down the page. Harry and Ron watched her with interest as she sat cross-legged in her chair, book in her lap, watching to see if her eyes would reveal any news- good or bad. She continued to think aloud. "Most of the ingredients we can get from the condiments at the snack bar at the pool," she said, "stuff like mustard acid, pall-shakings (that's pepper), soda water..." she trailed off again, took a deep breath and continued, her eyes showing no emotion whatever. This was Hermione's element; the girl was born to do research. She kept reading, "we'll need a bucket since we don't have a cauldron...some seawater will do for a base...that will have enough salt in it..." she stopped for a moment and looked up.

"Ginny!" she said, in her commanding tone.

"Right!" said the younger girl, who's eyes had been wandering around towards a small knot of boys who were playing in the surf.

"I need you to go up to the pool and buy a hot dog, a cup of clear soda and a few packets of ketchup and mustard and salt and pepper if you can find it."

"What's the hot dog for?"

"I can squeeze some of the essence out of it- that will be close enough to what the potion calls for...run along, please."

"I haven't any gold..." said Ginny.

"Oh- here," Hermione rummaged in her bag and produced a wadded up piece of paper, which was a wicked green color with pictures, symbols and the number "10" written on it.

"What..." began Ginny.

"It's Muggle's money!" snapped Hermione, forgetting that Ginny probably knew nothing about the stuff. "Give it to the lady at the bar after you order."

"But its only paper..." protested Ginny.

"Just go, its worth something here..."

Ginny shook her head and departed. Ron was momentarily angered by the amount of bottom Ginny's bikini was showing off, but he would have to think about that later. If mum were here...

Hermione continued her reading. "This ought to be pretty easy to make. I just hope these raw ingredients won't...uh oh."

Harry and Ron picked up on her pause and looked up. "What is it, Hermione?" asked Ron, cautiously.

Hermione looked down at them. "When, exactly, were the two of you shrunk?"

"You mean what day?"

"I mean what hour if you can manage it!" the tone of Hermione's voice was urgent and her eyes had that worried/concerned look she often got when she felt Harry was being treated unfairly or if Malfoy had had a particularly effective tirade on Ron.

Harry and Ron lapsed into silence for a moment, thinking. Time was a bit mixed up at the moment, it had been late evening at home and here it was something just after noon. "I suppose," said Harry, "that it must have been about...oh...six hours ago." They both looked up at Hermione to gauge her reaction.

"Oh..." was all. She turned back to her book. "What time is it in England right now?"

"That depends on the time here."

"Right..." Hermione fished her watch out of the bag. "4:30- and England is six, no five hours ahead- 9:30...this won't work at all."

"Why not!" demanded Ron.

"It says this potion takes six hours to work, and it has to run its course before midnight to work. You haven't the time even if you took it now. It would be midnight in 2 hours and thirty minutes."

"Wait," said Ron, "you said it was only 4:30..."

"In England, Ron!" said Hermione, in the tone of voice she used when they asked her questions about things they should have learned in class. "You got into this spell in England!"

"Oh."

"What else is in there?" asked Harry.

"I don't know," said Hermione, "and I need Ginny again to help me read because we're running out of options. Where is she?"

Her question was answered by the loud calls of seagulls. Ginny was making her way across the hot sand, plate and hot-dog in one hand and cup in the other, and the seagulls had been attracted by the food. Ginny cast a nervous glance at them but otherwise continued on. She stooped under the umbrella and sat down.

"Here's your change," she handed Hermione a small wad of bills. "I'd like to keep the coins, I don't have any American ones. And here's your food."

"Just eat it," said Hermione in a disappointed sort of voice, as when she couldn't find the answer she wanted. "The spell won't work anyway. And help me find another one."

Ginny shrugged, sat down and nibbled at the hot-dog, throwing most of it to the gulls (as it wasn't very good) as the girls continued to pour over the spell books. After about twenty more minutes Hermione looked up again.

"Tell me," she said to the boys, "Were you shrunk by a reduction spell?"

Harry cast a glance at Ron. Ron squinted. "And if we were?"

"Yes or no?" No one argued with Hermione when she talked like that, even if she weren't 20 times their size.

"Yes."

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes. Ginny looked up from her book in concern.

Hermione's eyes were still closed when she asked the follow up question. "Was it, by chance, Peerson's Last Chance Reduction Spell for Beginners, the one that uses rainwater and mirrors and doesn't need a wand, making it safe to try over the summer?"

Ron gaped, cast a glance at Harry. "Maybe..."

"This is not good."

Ron and Harry both swallowed hard before Harry managed a "why?"

"This says..." read Hermione, "That the Peerson's spell was made illegal in 1881 because after only 8 hours, the effects become permanent..."

"Eight hours! Cripe! We've only got a couple left..." Ron looked panicked. "Hermione! What do we do?"

"The antidote," answered Hermione, reading, "was also made illegal in 1881 due to the significant number of deaths that resulted...Oh Ron! Harry! What were you thinking?" Her tone was of genuine concern laced with anger and utter bewilderment.

The boys looked at each other before Harry, ever calm, said, "It doesn't matter now, Hermione, we just need help. What's the antidote?"

"Right," Hermione turned the page, opened her mouth to start to read and then went white as a ghost. She sat there, open mouthed for a moment, eyes looking back and fourth between the tiny boys and the text on her page...

"What does it say, Hermione?"

This time it was Hermione who swallowed hard. She answered, almost in a whisper. "It says that you have to bathe for thirty minutes in pure, un- contaminated, undiluted..." she trailed off, shuddering, "...human... ...stomach...acid..?"

Harry and Ron glanced at each other. Ginny looked back and forth between the boys and Hermione.

Hermione had something of a shocked look on her face, as if she were not sure what to do, which is very un-Hermione like. She looked at the boys. They looked at her. Hermione looked perplexed. Then, her countenance changed from perplexed to understanding yet horrified. The tip of her tongue protruded from between her lips for just a moment.

Ron's face was something along the lines of questioning panic. Harry's was one of calm, terrified knowledge. "Hermione," he said, "where, pray tell, can we take a bath in pure, uncontaminated, undiluted human stomach acid?"

Hermione didn't say anything, but it was quite clear that she and Harry had had the same thought. Here face aghast and fixated on the boys, she merely look a finger, pressed the tip of it against the bare skin of her belly halfway between her bikini top and her bellybutton and tapped three times.

Ginny gasped, dropping her book as she clasped both hands over her mouth, eyes wide.

Harry looked round at Ron, then back at Hermione. "How do we get it out..." he asked, more hoping than anything.

"You can't, not without a wand and magic."

"Then, how do we..."

There was a dreadful knowing silence.

"Blimey!" shouted Ron, "Hermione's going to have to EAT us!"

Ginny burst into tears. "Hermione! Is that what you have to do?"

"I can't think of anything else, Ginny. Unless _you_ want to..."

That really upset Ginny, who suddenly turned green and threw up.

"Wait," said Ron, running over to his sobbing sister's side, stopping at the wet spot in the sand where she had yakked. "Maybe between the two of you, you can cough up enough to work, like in a bucket."

"Maybe," said Hermione. "Its worth a try..." Ginny was inconsolable, and Hermione tried to make herself throw up, unsuccessfully. They then managed to calm Ginny down enough for her to try, but she failed to do little more than gag.

"I guess Hermione will have to try and eat us," said Harry. "There has to be more to the spell, like how do we get out of your stomach, how do we keep from being digested...minor points like that."

Hermione sighed and continued to read. "All it says is that the person needing the antidote should cover himself with soda water while using the charm _preventus digestivium_ three times. It doesn't say anything about getting out."

"We can apparate out," said Harry. "We don't need a wand, so its likely not real magic..."

Ron was on the verge of tears. "Harry, I can't apparate at all. We're not even supposed to learn how until we're seventeen. I can barely make a bean vanish...what can I do?"

"I'll take you with me. I've done it before, successfully...once, with someone else...who knew how...but we haven't any choice."

Ron groaned loudly, but he knew there was nothing else to be done, and Harry had shown more than a little ability to come through in a clutch situation.

"Ginny, where's the soda you bought?" Hermione demanded.

Ginny sniffed and found the now watered down cup of 7up, which Hermione accepted. "This will have to do..."

Hermione took the top off the cup and, rather unceremoniously, dumped Ron and Harry inside it. "I can see why this spell and the antidote are illegal. A lot of people got stuck small, some small people got digested and some people got blown up when the small people grew up inside them...this is utter madness. If I didn't love you two, I'd let you stay small and we could seek help from Dumbledoor later. But not even he may be able to do anything, and we can't take the chance. Now hurry up, you don't have much time. Say the charm." Hermione was in her bossy tone, which also meant she was worried but would never let on. She looked away, rubbing her arms together as if she were suddenly chilled.

Ron and Harry paddled around in the soda, mumbling the charm, until they were thoroughly soaked in the stuff.

Hermione got off her chair and sat cross-legged in the sand and put the cup of soda holding the boys in her lap. She took a deep breath. "Look guys," she said, "I don't want two little dead people floating around in my stomach. If you feel like the charm hasn't worked and I'm starting to digest you, I want you to apparate immediately, even if you're still small, which is better than dead. Now, who's first?"

Harry and Ron only looked at each other. Neither spoke. Harry and Ron both turned to look at Hermione, looming above them, 7up dripping from their hair. It was absolutely impossible to look anywhere but straight into her bellybutton. Were they seriously considering this? Could Hermione do it? If anyone could do it, it was Hermione. Harry knew he couldn't.

"Fine!" Hermione groaned "you two can't afford any more delay." She reached down and grabbed Ron.

In spite of himself, Ron screamed bloody murder as Hermione raised him, sticky and wet with soda, up to her open mouth. With a deftness that shocked Harry, Hermione, in one smooth motion, tossed the screaming Ron into her mouth, closing her lips on his wildly kicking legs before sucking them in like so much spaghetti and swallowing him whole with a clearly audible gulp. Harry stared as a vaguely Ron-shaped figure traced its form on the front of Hermione's neck as Ron went quickly down her throat, then all traces of him were gone.

Ginny had a look for horror on her face, her one hand clapped over her mouth, the other clutching her stomach. She looked green again.

Hermione showed no emotion at having just gobbled one of her best friends down to her stomach. She merely looked at Harry, then reached for him.

For Harry, it was if the world had suddenly slowed itself down to half speed and all sound muted itself. He watched Hermione's hand reach down, her fingers close on him and lift him, dripping, from the cup of 7up. The expression on her face was very business-like, her eyes narrow, her lips parted just slightly so that her teeth were visible. The trip up was like an amusement park ride, a slow, nervous climb, until nothing was visible but Hermione's attractive visage. Suddenly, her mouth yawned open, saliva dripped from her molars and her tongue wiggled ominously below. Harry could not remember being afraid, he did not scream like Ron had, but his blood went cold when Hermione's tongue moved down to reveal the opening to her throat. The sun was shining right down her throat, showing him the path he was going to take deep into her body. Her uvula glistened and wiggled, as if impatient. All too soon, Harry was dropped onto Hermione's tongue and her lips closed. For just a moment that seemed to last a long time, he lay there on her tongue, squeezed against the roof of her mouth, his face scant inches from the opening to her esophagus. The opening was dark, had the feel of immense depth to it. From this angle, the opening seemed terrifyingly too small to admit him... suddenly her tongue thrust him headfirst into the awful hole at the back of her mouth. He teetered for a moment as if on the edge of a precipice, then was yanked violently down and through the opening. He toppled into Hermione's esophagus and began the journey down to her stomach. The muscular tube squeezed him down, as if he were almost too small to fit, but it pulled from below and pushed from above.

Without warning, something gave way in front of him and an odor so foul as to nearly sicken him wafted up from below. It smelled as if someone had just belched into his face. The smell could only have one source, deep within Hermione's stomach. Suddenly, the trip was over. The constraints of the tube were gone and Harry fell headlong, landing with a wet smack on an undulating, slimy, smelly surface. He had entered Hermione's stomach! He was INSIDE Hermione!

Harry looked around. He was still able to see, a little, and he was able to tell that he was in the upper part of Hermione's stomach, the wider end. At the low end was, doubtless, a pool of acid and the remnants of whatever Hermione had eaten for lunch. Looking Up, Harry could see the pucker of a valve that had been his entrance. It was about a foot or so higher than as high as he could reach. Other than that, her stomach was empty. There was only one other thing in there. Huddled into a corner, as far back into it as he could get, was Ron, sitting and hugging his knees to his chest, utterly petrified with fear. Harry went over to him.

Ron was muttering something quietly to himself, slowly rocking back and forth, eyes staring blankly into space, obviously terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought or action of any kind.

"Ron," ventured Harry, with no luck. "Ron! We'd better get on with it!" Nothing. They had to bathe for thirty minutes, before the incantation wore off. Harry glanced around him. Then he felt something drip on him from above. Glancing up, he saw that a cloudy liquid was spurting out of a pimple on the wall of Hermione's stomach above his head. As he looked around, other, similar pimples were also issuing fluid and the puddle at the far end of Hermione's stomach was noticeably fuller, its edge creeping towards them in the shallow end.

Harry did notice that the liquid did not hurt, it itched where it landed, that was all, but it was undoubtedly acid. Hermione's involuntary senses, sensing food in her stomach, had triggered her digestion process. Within moments, the great sack was moving and heaving, as if trying to throw them into the acid. Ron remained where he was, unmoving.

It was the creepiest place Harry had ever been in. It was creepier than the Chamber of Secrets, creepier than the deepest parts of the Dark Forest where he and Ron had confronted huge spiders who wanted to eat them. Now he had been eaten by one of his best friends in the whole world. He was INSIDE Hermione's stomach! This is where her food came to be digested...how many meals had he shared with this girl in the last three years? Hundreds? Now he was one.

"Ron!" shouted Harry, "we have to get going. We don't have forever, and Hermione's charm won't protect us for a long time."

Ron didn't move, did not even acknowledge Harry. Harry began to wonder if he had been injured on his way down Hermione's throat. But the time was coming for action if they were to ever get out of this. The pool of acid was now covering the entire stomach floor except the high ground where Ron perched. Its surface sloshed and bubbled ominously. Quite without warning, Harry grabbed Ron by the shoulders and with a terrific heave, pulled them both into the pool of acid.

With a seeming roar of victory, Hermione's stomach turned the action up, and her whole stomach move and undulated as it attempted to digest the two flailing boys.

Ginny burst into tears as she watched Hermione swallow Harry. She boo-hooed while Hermione stared off into the horizon for a moment or two. Finally, Hermione looked over at her younger friend and gave her a hug. "It'll be alright, Ginny," she said soothingly. To herself she certainly hoped it would be. There were now three lives at risk.

Ginny managed to recover a little. Hermione stood up, and stretched. "This is so weird..." she said, rubbing her stomach with her hand. "I could feel them drop into my stomach and I can feel them moving around inside. I can feel my stomach trying to digest them. It actually feels rather neat..."

"Hermione," moaned Ginny, "please don't talk like that! I hate thinking of them in...well...in there." She pointed somewhere at Hermione's middle.

"Alright," agreed Hermione, not arguing. She turned, upsetting the cup of 7up she had doused Ron and Harry with before she swallowed them. She watched the liquid drain from the cup to temporarily wet the hot sand before drying up almost immediately. "They'd better hurry up and get this over with. Why don't we go on a walk to pass the time, it may help take your mind away for a bit."

Ginny nodded and the two started off down the beach. Even Ginny could hardly look Hermione in the eye, she had trouble not looking into her bellybutton.

Hermione's stomach was really beginning to give it to them. They had been in there for about five minutes or so, and acid was raining down on them.

"Harry! Harry! Cripes! I'm drowning!" bellowed Ron as Harry shoved him around in the thickening liquid, trying to thoroughly douse him. The acid itched all over his body- but he ignored it. At least it didn't hurt- yet. He began to wonder how long they had been at this, it could not have been long enough. Yet it seemed as if a dozen lifetimes had passed since he got out of bed this morning.

Each time Harry released Ron, he tried to climb away, but before long, there was nowhere in the heaving sack to climb to, so Ron, seeming to come to his senses, settled down a bit.

"What'd you do that for?" Bellowed an angry, yet finally coherent Ron as he and Harry fought to keep their heads above the storm of stomach acid.

"You were just sitting there! I had to do something!"

"Warn me next time!"

"I tried!"

"How long's it been?"

"Don't know! Keep swimming!"

The only plus to all of this is that Hermione's stomach was drenching them with acid in its vain attempt to digest them.

Hermione and Ginny walked along and tried very much not to talk about Ron and Harry at all, but it was hard to keep the conversation away from them for long. For Ginny it was made worse by the fact that Hermione, absent mindedly, kept rubbing her stomach.

To Hermione's credit, although she could plainly feel the goings on inside her stomach she did try to ignore them- but they were somewhat pleasurable. She kept rubbing her stomach because it gave her senses something else to pay attention to.

Then Hermione stopped in her tracks, her hand clutching her stomach. Ginny had not noticed and had to turn around. Hermione had a strange look on her face, so Ginny asked her what was wrong.

"I don't know..." she said. Suddenly, Hermione belched very loudly, causing her to half double over. It was not the satisfied meal belch, but the kind that hurts coming up and you can taste. "Ow! That hurt!" said Hermione, grimacing.

"What!" yelled Ginny, "is there something wrong?"

Hermione straightened up, both hands on her stomach now. "Ow. I burped so hard it hurt my throat...I wish they'd hurry up."

Harry thought that he was nearly insane. Surely had had been at this for thirty minutes by now. They were thoroughly exhausted, but if they stopped swimming and fighting, they would be drowned...and eventually digested.

Suddenly, both boys began to feel a little funny. They stopped their splashing for a moment to suddenly realize that Hermione's stomach somehow felt considerably less cavernous...

"OH!" said Hermione, suddenly, causing Ginny to begin to cry again. She had an awful look on her face, both hands clapped over her belly. "That hurt," she said, "I- gwag!" She gagged loudly, dropping to one knee and doubling over. She gagged again. Pain shot through her entire abdomen. She was suddenly very afraid of having her insides ripped out. "Apparate Harry!" she shouted.

"Apparosiosus!" yelled Harry with all his might, suddenly remembering to grab Ron and to utter the word in the plural.

There was a terrible sensation as the world they had been in vanished into blackness. Then they were awake, struggling to get to the surface of overwhelming liquid.

They had failed, thought Harry, they were still inside Hermione and all three of them were going to be killed...

Hermione screamed as a loud CRACK! and a flash of light threw her off her feet and into the shallow surf to land with a thud on her bottom.

"Harry! Ron!" shouted Ginny, and hurried over to where the now normal sized boys had appeared out of thin air, right in the surf. She helped the two sputtering boys to their feet, both a little shaky. They were covered in a foul smelling goo and their clothes were tattered and burned looking, and places on their skin appeared to have abrasions on them. Ron was a bit worse off than Harry, and so exhausted he sank to his knees.

Ginny hugged both of them in turn twice, bawling incomprehensibly until Harry suddenly remembered someone.

"Hermione!" he shouted. "Where is she?"

"Oh!" said Ginny as a new panic built up inside her. "We were walking together, their was this awful 'crack' noise..." She looked around, suddenly screaming again.

Hermione was sprawled on her back, eyes closed, a few feet away from them.

"Hermione!" shouted Harry as he ran over to her, fearing the worst. Kneeling down in the sand, he put his hand on her forehead. The he relaxed. "She's not dead, look, she's breathing."

But she was out cold, and Ron asked if anyone thought she was okay.

They sat there in silence for a few moments, no one knowing what to do, and that section of beach completely deserted for hundreds of yards in both directions except for themselves.

The surf washed up the beach, and swathed Hermione's inert form as she lay on the sand. The water washed around her head and she opened her eyes, then closed them, then blinked. "Oh," she said, eyes still closed, "my stomach hurts..."

"Hermione!" shouted Ron, causing her top open her eyes again, only to squint in the hot sun. "Are you alright?"

It seemed to take her a moment to process things, but when she recognized Ron and Harry, normal size, her eyes popped open and she sat up, leaning back on her hands, and still not quite altogether. "I think so..." she said. She shook her head as if trying to clear it, then they helped her stand up.

Hermione, still a little shaky, hugged both Ron and Harry twice (Harry had to admit that it was a great deal of fun to hug a girl in a bikini, or in this case, two girls in bikinis, but he didn't say so.) "Oh, thank goodness!" she said into Harry's shoulder, "I am so glad that this is over..."

"Well, almost," said Ron, "Harry and I need to get back home and face my mum."

"Oh, right," said Ginny. "Hermione, when did your parents say they were coming back."

Hermione shook her head again, her eyes glazed for a moment. "Sorry," she said, "I'm a bit dizzy...what did you say?"

Ginny repeated her question.

"Oh! Between five thirty and six, we're supposed to be ready to go by then. What time is it anyway?"

"Where are you going?" asked Harry as the four turned around to begin the walk back to the Graingers' condo.

"We're going out to dinner," said Ginny. "With Hermione's parents."

"For fresh seafood," said Hermione, grinning to show her teeth and rubbing her stomach. "And I am famished. I can't wait. Lobster and fish and shrimp." She smacked her lips in an un-Hermione like way.

"Sounds yummy," said Ron, "I don't suppose we're invited."

"No," said Ginny, "you're supposed to be home!"

Ron only muttered under his breath.

The four began the walk back to the condo. Hermione, who cannot stop talking for more than a minute at a stretch (except when studying), immediately began to relate her experience to the boys.

"...And then," she was saying, "when you two zapped out of me, my stomach went from pleasantly full to completely empty in a second, so now I'm hungry. And you took everything that was in there out with you, I suppose that's where the smell comes from. And I'll have to admit," she said, hardly pausing for breath, "the act of actually swallowing you two and feeling you kicking and screaming your way down to my stomach was most intriguing..." she traced their path with her finger down the skin of her belly, her fingers finally coming to rest at her bellybutton, "and I could feel you moving around as my stomach tried to digest you. The scary thing is that after a while I didn't mind it so much. I shall have to do more research..." she suddenly stopped and looked the other direction as she realized her mouth was moving faster than her brain. The looks on her three friends' faces was one of shock and horror.

"Research what?" demanded Ron. "The history of eating people or something?"

Hermione was never one to pass up answering a question. "Well, actually, yes," she said. "There was a time when witches actually did eat people quite often. I suppose that could be the origin of some of those spells. I've read bits about it here and there I had always found it a bit revolting of course, but actually having done it now, of a sort, it actually did feel nifty with the two of you thrashing around in my stomach and all...I just wonder what the connection is, and why they did it, why they started it, and why wizards never did it, eat people that is, at least I've not heard of wizards doing it, and if maybe it's a female thing, and..."

"Hermione!" the three of them shouted at once.

"Sorry," she said, and stopped talking.

The four of them walked on in silence for a moment longer, Ginny taking a moment to cast a lingering smile and some boy who looked about her age who was ogling at her. Hermione continued to walk, a little faster than the others, which was no bad thing since Harry and Ron could look at her butt easier. Ginny stayed shyly a step or two behind, lost in her own world.

Hermione broke the silence as they neared the entrance into the condo building from the beach, after they had laden themselves with the girls' beach stuff. "Well, I suppose the two of you had better floo back once we get inside. Ginny and I need showers, of course."

"I could do with a snack..." protested Ron.

Ginny cut him off, "I think you'd better wait until you get home..."

"I doubt your mum will be in much of a mood to feed us..." ventured Harry.

"I suppose that's your problem, isn't it." Snapped Ginny. She was apparently angry at something.

"What's your beef?" demanded Ron, wheeling on his little sister.

Ginny looked indignant, stopped dead in her tracks, folded her arms across her chest and gave him a nasty look. The fact that she looked and stood that way in a bikini made her look very, very cute. "Alright," she began, "I'm a bit miffed at all of you. You and Harry had no business messing about with spells that could potentially kill you, much less finding us to help you out of your little scrape and bothering our holiday. And you, Hermione, seemed to enjoy the whole mess a bit too much with your eating people bit, and I've nearly had it with all of you. I'm a little sunburned, hungry, sweaty, covered in awful sunscreen and would very much like to talk of something else."

"Sorry Ginny," said Hermione, "I got a little carried away I guess..."

"It's alright- I suppose I don't deal to well with death-defying situations is all."

"None of us do." Said Harry. Well, actually, he had dealt with them before.

Ron only fumed, but said nothing.

"Right," said Harry, "let's go up."

It was the elevator ride up that made Harry and Ron remember that they didn't have any floo powder.

Ginny and Ron had no small row in the elevator up to the sixth floor. Harry and Hermione, never party to these incidents before, merely edged into the corner of the lift and cast nervous glances at each other. The row ended as abruptly as it had begun, with Ron and Ginny scowling in opposite directions and not saying a word. Even Hermione was speechless.

Upon entering the condo, Ginny stomped off to the condo's bathroom to clean up and Ron locked himself into the powder room, leaving Harry and Hermione to try and figure out what to do next.

"These things only seem to get more complicated, don't they?" said Hermione as Harry stood uneasily near the couch, nearly sitting on it before he realized that to do so would probably ruin it.

"I probably should not sit down," said Harry, not responding to Hermione's observation.

"No," she said, "not there." And she fetched him a plastic chair from the veranda. The she stood there looking at him, but not seeing him, her brain apparently either in neutral or working overtime. She really looked good standing there, her ankles together, one hand on her chin while the other supported her elbow, her stance showing her curves to advantage, her bikini showing off everything else to advantage. It was still hard not to look at her bellybutton, which was still visible below her arm.

Hermione sighed, looking away from Harry, putting her weight on one leg, her hands on her hips and looking out the window. She kept her body turned the same way which still enunciated her curves while allowing her whole belly to be visible, now that her arms had moved. Harry had to comment.

"Hermione," he said.

She turned to look at him, an odd pensive look on her face. "Huh?"

"I must say that your stomach is as impressive on the outside as it is on the inside, as I have seen both sides."

Hermione smiled and blushed, then looked at her belly, then back at Harry. "Why thank you, Harry," was all she said before walking to the kitchen to mess around in there. But she was smiling.

Ron came out of the powder room, looking calmer. He nearly sat down on the couch, but Hermione caught him in time and Harry got him a plastic chair. "So," he said, sitting down heavily, "what did you two come up with?"

"Nothing yet," said Harry. He glanced at Hermione who was silently emptying her beach bag, humming to herself and grinning ear to ear.

Ginny came out of the bedroom at this time, looking much calmer than she had before she went in, and resplendent in a red and white floral sundress and her hair down. She, being clean, sat on the couch.

"Oh good, you're finished..." said a quieter-than-normal and smiling-more-than-normal Hermione as she went back to clean herself up. She practically skipped out of the room.

"You two stink," said Ginny.

"We know!" said Ron, "we've been around a bit today, what with shrinking and being eaten and regurgitated and all."

"Look," said Ginny, apparently she had calmed down a bit. "I had a thought as I was in the shower."

"What sort of thought?" sneered Ron. "What dress to wear I suppose."

"No," said Ginny, not getting angry but continuing her thought, "I think Dad has set up his telephone again..."

Ron leapt to his feet. "Of course! The Muggle talking machine! He wouldn't let me touch it!" He looked around the apartment for a moment before his eyes landed on the telephone on the kitchen counter. "We can call them! Of course! Ginny, you're brilliant!"

Harry knew a bit about telephones that his magical friends did not. "Have you got the number?" he said.

Ginny squinted up her eyes. "Well...I might...remember it. Dad showed me how he thought it worked. You punch in numbers on the front and it connects through wires and satellites and things to what ever phone has the number you entered."

"Very good," said Harry. "If you know what the number is."

"I'm pretty sure I wrote it down because I was showing it to Hermione..."

"What number?" said Hermione as she came through the door. Harry and Ron goggled at her as she was presented before them in a way for which they were totally unprepared, again. She was dressed in a low-waisted, denim Capri pants and a bikini top. Actually, it wasn't a bikini top, it was a sleeveless cropped halter top, but since it didn't seem to cover much more than a bikini top would have, it is easy to see how one could make the mistake. You could see her whole stomach, which was apparently the point.

"Hermione," said Ron, eyes open and the beginnings of a very pleased look on his face. "I'll have to admit that's something of a new look for you."

"Oh take off. I never get to dress like this, can you see this at Hogwarts? I've had this for a year and have had no where to wear it, or even if I should wear it. Then Harry said he liked my stomach so I thought I'd wear it this once. "

Ron shot Harry a look. "I only said it was impressive from both sides..." he stammered. Ron continued to glare. "Look, because we were inside it...get it...I was...oh never mind."

Hermione smiled at them, in her annoying way, with her hands on her hips looking very pretty. Her hair was tied up into a pony tail again, this time with a bow to match her halter top. "As I was saying," she said, "what number?"

Harry looked at Hermione's bellybutton again before he made himself look into her eyes. "The telephone number for the phone Ron's dad set up in the Borough."

Hermione's eyes lit up, "right!" she said "he made the number Ginny's birthday, because she's the only girl and it would be easy to remember."

Ginny also smiled. "Good! You remembered! I had quite forgotten. Let's dial it now."

Hermione looked indignant. "Wait! Do you know what my parents would do to me if I charged up an international call from the phone here!"

"It can't be anything like what my mum's going to do to us!" said Ron.

"Yeah, I'll leave some gold for them...oh, I haven't got any on me. I'll send it to them by post," suggested Harry.

"They can't use gallions!" said Hermione, "they need pounds or euros or dollars."

"They will too use gallions, this fall when school starts," barked Ron.

"True enough, and I suppose I could make something up..." Hermione put her hand on her chin and supported her elbow with the other. She looked terribly cute when she did that because you could see her bellybutton under her hand. "We can make it work." She walked over to the phone. "What city is the Borough near?"

"He got the phone in London, so, maybe that's close enough."

"Worth a try." Hermione busied herself dialing international access numbers. She dialed a lot of numbers. Then she waited. "It's ringing!" she said. She continued to sit there, eyes off into space, as she, apparently, waited for someone to answer. The others were all looking intently at Hermione. Finally, her eyes changed as someone apparently answered the phone. "Hello..." she began. "No...NO! Don't hang up! It's Hermione! Hermione Granger! Yes! I'm fine." She put her hand over the mouthpiece long enough to tell the others "It's Fred."

She waited, as if listening to someone on the other end. "No...listen Fred...FRED! Listen! Yes, Ginny's fine...yes I know Ron and Harry are gone...yes I know they're not there and...yes...yes...YES...I know your mum's in a fit...NO! Listen..." she had to stop, apparently Fred was doing a lot of fast talking. "Fred...George! Stop it! What...No...I've got something I need to tell you!"

Hermione rolled her eyes then. "Will you shut up!" this apparently bought her some time. "Listen...I know where Ron and Harry are! Yes! They're both fine...there here with us in Florida! Yeah really! No fooling! All right...here he is!" and she thrust the phone at Ron.

Ron heaved a heavy sign before he accepted the receiver from Hermione. "Hello George..." he said. "Yes its really me...at the beach...I know...worse than when you two stole the...oh, bloody hell." He closed his eyes and sighed again. "Where is she now. Oh, so she doesn't know...oh we've done lots. Yeah, Harry and I shrunk ourselves, you'd like that bit of magic...but you really won't like the antidote...no, I'll tell you all about it later...then we were in Hermione's stomach for a bit, now we're filthy dirty and in a lot of trouble. Yeah...while we were shrunk she ate us. No Kidding! Obviously not, you dolt...Yeah actually she did...huh...well..." Ron paused, glanced at Hermione who was standing nearby with her arms crossed over her tummy, then blushed, "she looked really good. Yeah she did, too...mum'll go nuts. Look, we need some floo powder. Yeah to get home...we can't stay here...just send it on all right? Gee!" and he hung up the phone. "Bloody nut."

Both girls jumped as a loud "poof!" came out of the decorative fireplace. Fred and George, Ron and Ginny's twin older brothers, emerged from the smoke. They were both wearing the customary wizards' garb of flowing robes, albeit over T-shirts and jeans. They both looked around a bit before noticing the four younger teens watching them across the room.

Hermione, never a huge fan of theirs, put on a look of indignation and put her hands on her hips. This unintentionally drew attention to her naked stomach, which is, of course, where George and Fred's eyes immediately went.

"Wow, Hermione!" said Fred. "We had no idea..."

"That your belly was so cute!" finished George.

"You should show it off more often..."

"That's enough!" said Hermione, curtly, closing here eyes and looking like she wanted to say more and holding up her hands. "Just take your two little friends and be off."

"All right...mum's practically put a price on their heads!"

"Yeah, she promised us she'd feed us dinner if we found them!"

"C'mon Harry, Ron..." George extended a hand, Fred held a small pot of floo powder.

Harry looked over at Hermione, into her eyes this time, not her bellybutton. "Thanks Hermione," he said, "you really helped us out of a mess this time."

"And into another one," she said, "you two had best go and answer to Mrs. Weasley."

"Right, and tell us all about your trip around Hermione's innards!" said Fred.

Hermione rolled her eyes as the four of them vanished into the fireplace, leaving her and Ginny at home at last.

Not two seconds later, the front door of the condo opened and in walked Mr. and Mrs. Granger, laden with packages. "Hello girls," said Mrs. Granger, giving Hermione a peck on the forehead and Ginny a little hug.

"Sorry we're a bit late," said Mr. Granger, looking absolutely ridiculous in a straw hat and flowered shirt. "Traffic was horrendous and I can't bear driving on the wrong side of the road. I suppose you two are starving."

"Famished" said Hermione. It was then that Mrs. Granger seemed to first notice Hermione's outfit.

"That's a bit of wild look for you, isn't it Hermione? Do you actually want to go out and eat in that?"

"Look," said Hermione, a bit more harshly than she usually spoke to her mother. "I promise I will never wear this again if everyone will just lay off! No one over here knows me, and they'll never see me again, if everyone thinks I look that bad..."

Her father interrupted. "Oh, it's fine, dear, she's just showing off her bellybutton. She can't wear that at Hogwarts anyway."

"I think she looks cute," said Ginny. "I wanted to see if she'd let me wear it tomorrow." And she smiled at Hermione.

"Right," said Hermione. "And dad, there's going to be a bit of a phone bill..."

Th'End


End file.
